Unconditionally: A Night With Moony
by Nutter-Lamb-Chops
Summary: "If Harry is bathed and asleep by the time I get home at eight o'clock, I'll buy you dinner and clean your house for a week. If Harry is wide awake and still dirty, as I know very well he will be, then..." the animagus pondered on this briefly before grinning wickedly, "…then you're on bath-time duty for a week." - An Unconditionally one-shot.


**I'm back with a little one-shot about our favourite werewolf and a two-year old Harry. Nothing serious here, just a bit of fun :) I hope you all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this story.**

A NIGHT WITH MOONY

"Now, the healing potions are in the bathroom cupboard if he hurts himself."

"I know, Sirius."

"Let him run around like a maniac before you even think about giving him a bath – it's the only way he'll stay still in the tub. If he can't get to sleep, read to him-"

"Really? I was actually planning on giving him a few shots of firewhisky. There goes my whole plan for the night," Remus said sarcastically. He shook Sirius's shoulders. "_He will be fine, _Padfoot! GO!"

It was Saturday night, and Sirius was leaving Harry at home for the first time to attend a work dinner with the animagus's boss. However, getting Sirius out the door was proving to be difficult and if Remus didn't get him to leave soon, Rufus Scrimgeour would most definitely sack the animagus the following day for standing him up.

"You underestimate his power, Moony. He-" Sirius lowered his voice and covered his mouth as though divulging some terrible secret. "He's learned how to do the 'puppy dog eyes'."

Remus stared at him incredulously. "He's learned how to do…the 'puppy dog eyes'?" The werewolf shook his head in disbelief. "You're a chump, do you know that? Just go, Sirius. I can handle a toddler just fine."

"Hey, I'm being a good friend here!" The animagus grabbed Remus's arm and gave him a warning look. "You HAVE to be prepared in advance. If you just go waltzing in there right now and look into those green eyes, you will fall apart and the whole world will descend into chaos."

"Please, if YOU can discipline him, then I will be just fine," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Trust me, he'll be fast asleep and clean as a whistle by the time you get home."

"I highly doubt that." Sirius folded his arms. "Would you care to make it interesting?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "How much are we talking?"

"If Harry is bathed and asleep by the time I get home at eight o'clock, I'll buy you dinner and clean your house for a week. If Harry is wide awake and still dirty, as I know very well he will be, then..." the animagus pondered on this briefly before grinning wickedly, "…then you're on bath-time duty for a week. Every time I'm faced with the prospect of a cranky, devious godson wriggling his way out of the bath tub, I'll be calling you and you'll be here in less than a minute."

"Deal." The two men shook hands. Remus snorted. "You'll be scrubbing my toilet tomorrow morning, my friend!"

"We'll see!" Sirius called from the hallway before he apparated.

"'ello Moony!"

Remus turned to find a small boy running up to him. "Hey Pronglet!" he greeted warmly. He picked Harry up in his arms and smiled at him fondly. "Looks like it's just you and me tonight! What do you want to get up to?"

"Ice cream!" shouted Harry almost immediately. Remus should have known; since Sirius had bought him a chocolate ice-cream cake for his second birthday the previous year, Harry had been a boy obsessed. The werewolf knew that Sirius sometimes even used the dessert as a means of bribery and he rolled his eyes. _He _was going to get Harry to have a bath without even mentioning ice cream.

"Later, Pronglet. I think it's about time for a bath though, don't you?" he queried. Harry's face fell and he shook his head fervently.

"Ice cream first, please!" he begged. Remus opened his mouth to argue but found himself looking into the toddler's eyes. Large, dark green orbs seemed to pierce his heart from behind long, ebony bangs as Harry gazed at him beseechingly. "Pretty please?" the toddler persisted, throwing his arms around the werewolf's neck and hugging him tightly.

In a flash, Remus's firm insistence that Harry would be bathing straight away went out the window. Sighing, he hugged the boy back. "OK, but only a small bowl. If you keep eating so much, you're going to _become _ice cream!" He placed Harry in his high chair and perused the chilled kitchen cupboard for ice cream. _Twenty-eight tubs…yeah, you don't have a problem, do you Sirius? _Sirius loved ice cream just as much as Harry.

"Here you go, Pronglet." He placed a small bowl before him. The toddler immediately began digging in. Remus winced at the similarities between Harry and Sirius's eating habits. "Not so fast, Harry. You'll get a headache." But it was too late; Harry had demolished the ice cream within a few seconds. The toddler now smiled at Remus happily, mouth covered in cookie dough ice cream.

"It is most definitely time for a bath now," said the werewolf, putting his hands on his hips and smiling at the messy toddler. He laughed as Harry shook his head. "No, there'll be no more ice cream. Come on." He picked up the small boy again and took him upstairs, setting him down outside the bathroom door.

"I wuv you, Moony," the toddler said sweetly, holding his arms out to the werewolf. Remus smirked; you had to hand it to the kid for trying.

"I love you too, Pronglet. But that doesn't change the fact that it's bath time," he answered firmly. The sweet smile on Harry's face diminished, and the toddler frowned at the werewolf crossly. Remus pointed at the bathroom door determinedly, as a signal for Harry to go in. However, the little boy stood obstinately in the hallway. As a last ditch attempt, Remus rearranged his face into a sorrowful expression.

"It makes me feel sad when you won't do what I ask, Harry," he told the little boy gravely. His words seemed to have the desired effect on Harry, because the little boy's eyes widened in horror and he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the werewolf's legs.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, hugging Remus tightly. The werewolf smiled at him.

"Do you think you can be a good boy, and have a bath without a fuss?" Harry nodded enthusiastically. "OK, then I forgive you."

"I need my bath toys." Remus nodded with a smile.

"I'll go get them. Wait here." Ruffling Harry's hair affectionately, he left the little boy standing demurely next to the bathroom and made for Harry's bedroom. Grabbing an assortment of toys, he made his way back to the bathroom, relishing the fact that he had once again ousted Sirius. _Oh Padfoot, you underestimate MY power, my friend._

"OK, Pronglet, I've got…Pronglet?" Harry was nowhere to be found. Pursing his lips, the werewolf searched the second floor for the wayward toddler, finally finding him in Sirius's bedroom. The little boy had managed to climb onto his godfather's bed, and was jumping up and down manically, grinning at Remus who crossed his arms and eyed the toddler sternly. _So much for being sorry!_

"Harry, are you supposed to be jumping on Padfoot's bed?" he questioned.

"Yes," answered Harry cheerfully. Remus sighed and moved towards the bed.

"The right answer is 'no'. Now come on, bath time."

Harry shook his head. "You said to say no!" Remus groaned; only James Potter's son could have already developed a smart-ass streak at the age of two. The werewolf stood before the bed and gazed down at the cheeky toddler before him, who looked back at him with an equally determined expression on his face as he continued to jump up and down.

"OK, Harry, no more games. You are having a bath, now!" He reached out to grab the little boy mid jump. However Harry was two steps ahead of him; the toddler dodged Remus's outstretched arms and went to seek refuge behind a pillow. But the little boy was unable to keep his balance, and fell off the bed, landing on his bottom with a tiny thud. Remus winced at the sound and rushed to the toddler, who, after a moment of shock, began howling uncontrollably.

"You see, this is why you can't jump on the bed, Pronglet," Remus rebuked the little boy sternly; the effect was lost however, by the way he tenderly bounced Harry up and down in his arms. The toddler sobbed into his neck. "Are you OK?"

"Sore bum!" Harry wailed hysterically. The werewolf forced down a smile, and rubbed Harry's shoulders soothingly.

"How about this, Pronglet?" Remus couldn't believe it; here he was, former Hogwarts Prefect and Outstanding student, forced to bargain with a two year old. "If you can have a bath like a good boy, then I'll…let you have ice cream afterwards?"

"Ice cream now?" begged Harry, eyes alight at the thought. Remus shook his head in amusement.

"No, you have to show me you can be a good boy," he told the toddler firmly. Harry looked as though he was pondering this suggestion for a moment before nodding.

"What if I'm bad by zackcident?"

"You'll have to shield against accidents. Come on." Hoisting a laughing Harry over his shoulder (it was truly amazing how quickly the boy cheered up when ice cream was on the cards), Remus carried him to the bathroom. Harry now complied quite calmly to get in the bath, and was content to sit in the tub, playing with a miniature Quaffle whilst the werewolf washed his hair. Remus looked at his watch; seven-thirty. He had half an hour until Sirius got home. Smirking in triumph, the werewolf lathered up Harry's hair, looking forward to the enormous steak that would be presented to him the following weekend. _Oh Sirius, you are so naïve!_

"Oww!" Harry suddenly yelped. Remus looked at him in alarm.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked the toddler anxiously. Harry pointed at his eyes, which were watering; evidently, Remus had gotten shampoo in them. "Sorry, Pronglet. It was an accident."

"Hurts," commented the toddler grumpily. Feeling guilty, Remus manoeuvred over the bath to get a better look.

"Here, let me just – ARGH!" Harry had yanked the werewolf's hair and pulled him into the bath. Remus coughed and spluttered as he emerged from the soapy water, and looked down to give his infant charge for the night a very thorough lecture, only to find that Harry had hoisted himself out of the tub and run from the bathroom…stark naked.

Thanking Merlin that Sirius had not been there to witness this moment, Remus rushed from the bathroom in search of Harry. He followed the sound of the toddler's giggles down the stairs and into the kitchen, to find Harry and…oh no…

"Cover your shame, Pronglet!" Sirius was chuckling, throwing his cloak around the naked toddler, who was wriggling in his godfather's arms. The animagus raised his eyebrow at the dishevelled, sopping wet werewolf glaring at him from the doorway. "Well, well, well…had a nice evening?"

"Oh shut up," Remus grumbled, shaking his wet hair. "I thought you were supposed to be home at eight!"

"It _is _eight, my foolish friend." Sirius pointed at the clock on the wall. "Your shoddy watch must be broken again."

Remus looked down at his rather battered watch to find that it had indeed stopped ticking. "Great," he grumbled, ripping it off rather vindictively and hurling it at the table. He looked up at Sirius, who was grinning back at him. "Oh, what is so funny?"

"So I take it that bath-time proved to be a pleasant experience for all?" the animagus questioned innocently.

"Hey, not through lack of trying on _my _behalf!" The werewolf pointed at the toddler accusingly. "He deceived me, on NUMEROUS occasions tonight!" Harry merely grinned back at him in a manner rather akin to his godfather.

"Why Remus, I thought you were more than capable of resisting the puppy-dog eyes of a mere two-year old," Sirius quoted back mockingly. If Harry had not been in the room, the animagus would have been on the receiving end of a rather rude hand gesture.

"Those aren't puppy dog eyes. They're the eyes of a very clever demon!" Remus could only imagine the trouble Harry would get into when he was older. "As Lily once said, Merlin help Hogwarts when Pronglet arrives!"

"Yes, although I highly doubt that McGonagall will fall under his spell." Bouncing Harry up and down on his hip, Sirius smirked triumphantly at Remus. "So I guess now you have to admit that I was right, and therefore the time has come for payment?"

Remus's face fell. "Oh no," he pleaded beseechingly. He fell to his knees and prostrated himself before Sirius, all dignity and pride long since drowned after being thwarted by a mischievous toddler. "Please, I beg of you. I have learned my lesson. I cannot do this for another seven days!"

Sirius merely chuckled. "Welcome to my world, my friend!" Remus scowled at him before leaving the room. The animagus could hear the werewolf calling him all sorts of names before he disapparated. Sirius chuckled and looked approvingly down at the green-eyed toddler, who was eyeing him expectantly.

"Good boy," he couldn't help but praise his godson for giving Remus such a hard time. "High-five!"

"No, ice cream. Remmy gave me none," said Harry sadly, hanging his head in a sorrowful manner. Sirius laughed.

"OK, but we'd better get you dressed first, mate." Harry, on the other hand, had different ideas. He wriggled out of his godfather's arms and rushed over to the chilled pantry, taking out a container of cookie dough ice cream. Before Sirius could stop him, Harry had stuck his hand into the container, pulled out a large handful and shoved it into his mouth, leaving a sticky residue of ice cream all over his face and arm.

Grinning wickedly, Sirius marched over to the fireplace. He threw in a handful of floo powder before sticking his head in.

"Reeeeemuuuuus!" he called in a sing-song voice. "There is a messy toddler here in need of a bath with _your _name on him!"

**I…I**

**Hope you all enjoyed this little piece of fluff! :)**


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